right and godly (ruby_fruit) wrote in glambert_fic,
right and godly

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Fic: In Thoughts Constructs

Title: In Thoughts Constructs
Author: ruby_fruit
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kris Allen/Adam Lambert
Series: Follows MOC.
Summary: Wherein there are unacknowledged emotional complications and carnivals are pretty gay. Who knew?
Warnings: Except for the ever present infidelity thar be none.
Notes: I cannot believe there are four installments of this fucking thing. OMG. All blame and praise still goes to anandrine. I know no one, own no one, and if you got here by Googling yourself or someone you know, that back button is right there, buddy.

To spare their handlers they do manage to stick mostly together at the fair, at least until the ferris wheel. Adam, despite getting both teased and wheedled at, will have nothing to do with it, stating firmly that he doesn’t do heights and abducting a handler over to the fried dough cart, insistent and a little pale.

The guy running the ferris wheel stares at Kris while taking the tickets of the people ahead of him, and it’s making him nervous. The guy is huge, spiky red hair, about two pounds of metal in his face and covered in tattoos from the knuckles up. Kris is too relieved to feel pleased when the guy asks if they’re the kids from American Idol. They tell him they are and he makes Allison squeak in delight and lean over the steel railing to hug him when he says she’s his favorite. He pats her gently on the back and his hand nearly spans the entire width of her shoulders. Kris barely manages not to yank her back, and makes a mental note to talk to the girl about hugging strange carnies, no matter how nice they seem. He waves off their tickets.

“You guys know Adam, right? You go free, and tell him Dave says hi.”

They thank the guy and save their amused glances for when they’re in the cars. The ride is as pretty and soothing as Kris always finds ferris wheels to be, but this time, like the rest of them, he can’t wait to get down and find out exactly how Adam is familiar with massive tattooed carnies.

Adam is deep in fried dough bliss and chatting with his handler when they get back. Even though he doesn’t have the right to it Kris can help the little surge of smugness. Adam’s jeans are tight enough that Kris can see the outline of his wallet from here. He’s only wearing a little eyeliner today, and the sun is picking out the highlights in his hair and bringing out the freckles on his face and into the deep vee of his shirt. Just like the song goes, both girls and boys are staring. And Kris has that. Had that this morning, even.

“Hey, Dave says hi. And we still say you’re a wuss.”

Adam flips him off cheerfully. “Who says hi now?”

“Dave.” Kris points back at the guy. Adam’s eyes get huge and he laughs incredulously.

“Oh damn. Small world.” Kris sees him pull a little bit of his stage presence around himself as he walks over.

They are all, he thinks, horrible nosy impolite people whose mothers would be ashamed. But they still all gather round and stare as Adam walks up to the huge guy, to Dave. Allison lets out a little squeak and grabs Lil’s arm when Dave uses their friendly handshake to pull Adam into a hug that lifts him up on his toes, and Adam’s delighted laugh drifts over to them. They talk for a while, both of them grinning, and hug again, gentler and somehow sweeter before Adam comes back. He lifts an innocent eyebrow at their curious faces.


Lil smacks his arm. “Girl, spill.” And Adam giggles, looking a little sheepish.

“You find old boyfriends in the strangest places…”

Boyfriends? Wait, you dated a carnie?” Allison’s voice actually cracks, and that sets everyone off. Adam goes pink.

“Oh shut up, he’s sweet! And he was a bouncer when I dated him.”

The teasing goes on, but Kris is distracted. Some lady in mom jeans and canvas sneakers is staring at Adam’s back like she just smelled something awful. Kris tenses, feeling uneasy and unsafe. He’s about to suggest they move on when Matt shoulders him gently aside, stepping well into Adam’s personal space and slinging a more-than-friendly arm around his waist.

“The hell, Matt?” Adam tries to shrug him off, but Matt is determined.

“Chill. I’m just giving Mrs. Morality Police over there something to really wad up her panties about. What’s left of your virtue is safe, Lambert.”

“Your dad took the last of my virtue last night. And who now?”

“Always knew the old guy had it in him. Over there, in the ferris wheel line.”

Adam glances over casually, under the guise of draping his arm over Matt’s shoulders.

“Hmm, I see.”

He shifts his weight onto one hip, closer to Matt, trailing his fingers over Matt’s chest and pressing a lingering kiss to his temple. It’s impressive to see how quickly Adam can switch it on, even off stage. The lady stiffens all over and turns away, the line of her back radiating outrage. Adam stands up straight and laughs, slapping Matt on the back.

“Awesome. Now get your hand off my ass.”

Matt makes a wounded face. “Love and leave me, huh? I see how it is. One bitchy housewife and you dump me.”

Adam rolls his eyes, pushes Matt gently into Kris and Anoop. Danny pipes up.

“Come on guys, leave her alone.”

Kris and Matt say “she started it” at the same time and Allison butts in, impatient.

“Whatever. Can we get back to the thing where Adam once dated a giant tattooed carnie?”

Adam protests again that Dave hadn’t been a carnie when they dated and it was only four months so it hardly counts and they move off, still arguing.


They’re all sunburnt and tired when they get back, even though it’s still early. Kris feels a little lightheaded and giddy over the fact that he’s not scheduled to be anywhere until tomorrow. He leans against the bathroom door and watches Adam rub aloe into the pink skin on the back of his neck, looking annoyed.

“It’s just a sunburn.”

Adam wrinkles his nose, rubbing his fingers along the edge of the redness.

“You’ve never seen me peel. It’s not pretty.”

Kris rolls his eyes and goes to stand behind Adam. Kris kisses the back of his neck lightly; the aloe is a pale and medicinal undercurrent to the smell of sun and hot asphalt lingering around Adam. Adam’s mouth quirks and he watches Kris in the mirror.

“Is the door locked?”

“Yeah.” It always is, lately.

Kris barely gets the word out before Adam turns around and pushes him back against the wall by the sink. The edge of the doorframe presses into Kris’ shoulder and his head thumps back against the tile as Adam kisses him hungrily, one hand on the side of Kris’ face and the other on the back of Kris’ neck, sensitive and sunburnt as well.

Being with Adam, Kris thinks, is sometimes like being hit by a very friendly truck. His thigh presses up between Kris’, making him spread and arch between the wall and the Adam. Adam drops his hand from Kris’ face and grabs his thigh, pulling him up and forward until Kris is on his toes and his dick is pressed tight to Adam’s hip. Something Kris has done before, but only from the other side. He gasps and feels Adam grin before his tongue pushes into Kris’ mouth again, licking the roof of Kris’ mouth as Adam grinds his hips into him.

Adam keeps Kris there, pinned between the wall and his own bulk, kissing him and rocking against him in a maddeningly random rhythm until Kris is hard and panting. Adam’s eyes are bright and hungry when he pulls back and Kris tries not to moan in disappointment when Adam lets go of his thigh, letting Kris slide back down his body.

“Jeez, a little warning.” Kris thinks he’d be better at playing cool if he could stop rocking against Adam’s thigh, still pressed up tight between his own.

Adam smirks at him. “Warning.”

Adam kisses even dirtier, slipping his tongue in and out of Kris’ mouth, maddening and suggestive until Kris is practically crawling up him. He fists his hand in Adam’s shirt and hair, grabs him by the belt, trying to get closer until Adam grabs his ass, pulling him up and pressing Kris’ shoulders into the wall until they ache. Adam’s fingers slide hard against the seam of Kris’ jeans, following it down until Kris is squirming between pressing into it or away.

Adam pulls away with slow, teasing kisses, his tongue dragging across Kris’ lower lip and Kris resists the urge to grab him by the hair and pull him back down. Adam’s fingers are still pressing hard at the seam of Kris’ jeans and most of Kris’ nerves are coming from the realization that he wants his jeans gone as of about five minutes ago.

“So,” Kris is gratified by the slight unsteadiness in Adam’s voice. “Do I have to dance around the point and do another slideshow, or can I just ask if I can fuck you?”

Kris is still plastered against Adam, nerves sparking, cock hard and blatant against Adam’s stomach even through his jeans.

“You have to ask?”

Adam leans away and Kris shivers with the loss of heat. He eyes Kris up and down and there’s gentleness under the amusement in his voice.

“With you? Yes.”

Kris scowls and Adam kisses him briefly.

“Don’t get all offended, Mary. You’re the newbie here, I’m trying to be polite.”

Kris concedes the point grudgingly and Adam smiles sweetly.

“So, are you?”


Adam’s smile stretches into a grin and it’s more sharp than friendly.

“Man enough to take it.” And he pulls Kris up hard against him in emphasis.

Kris groans and yanks sharply at Adam’s hair.

“Yeah, I’m in awe of your manners here.”

“That’s not my manners, honey.” And Kris can’t help but laugh.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m also still waiting for an answer.”

All Kris can think is “who else?” It doesn’t keep him from turning red, but at least he sounds sure when says yes.

Adam’s smile is impossibly sweet. “Mmm, fabulous. Now get your ass on the bed.” And he slaps said ass for punctuation.

Kris feels strung tight with nerves, and with irritation at being nervous. He’d done this to Adam, after all, and he’s pretty sure being frightened of the inverse makes him a jerk. Adam is stripping off his shirt at the edge of the bed, and there’s more sunburn splashed across his shoulders and the bridge of his nose. Kris pulls him forward by the belt loops, kisses the freckles scattered across Adam’s ribs and drags the zipper of his jeans down. Adam’s fingers stroke through his hair and he squeezes Kris’ shoulders.

“It’s ok to be nervous you know. It is kind of a big deal.”

“Full of yourself, aren’t you?” Kris moulds his hand over the outline of Adam’s cock through his jeans.

Adam rolls his eyes and nudges Kris back, pushing his own pants down his hips, and yanking Kris’ belt out of its loops rather harder than necessary.

“I didn’t mean me, asshole.”

Adam pops the button on Kris’ jeans and strokes him through his briefs. Kris sighs and squirms. Adam sits on Kris’ legs, pinning him, and watches his own hand on Kris.

“Seriously though. I was nervous, the first time.”

“Tell me.” Kris bites his tongue too late, but Adam just quirks an eyebrow at him.

“You know that story already.”

“Tell me another.”

“They always get demanding.” Adam mutters, pulling Kris’ pants down his legs. Kris nips at his chest when Adam leans over him to snag the lube and condom. It leaves a bright red mark on Adam’s pale skin and Adam makes an irritated noise, taking Kris by the chin and kissing him. Adam grabs a pillow when he sits back.

“Turn over.”

Kris starts to protest, but Adam cuts him off.

“Remember how I said it was easier on your stomach? Don’t get shy on me now.”

Kris is embarrassed, but it is a little easier not to have to look Adam in the face. Like how he and Katy kept the lights off the first few times. Adam scrapes his teeth lightly across the back of Kris’ neck when he eases the pillow under his hips.

“Thank you.”

Kris hums in response, and the snap of the cap on the lube send little nervous prickles up his spine. This isn’t the first time he’s had Adam’s fingers in him, but there’s the looming promise of more now, and maybe it is a bit of a big deal.

Adam slides two slick fingers into Kris, not particularly slow or careful and Kris presses his forehead to the mattress, breathing through the initial burn. Adam rubs the small of his back and speaks up quietly.

“I remember the first time I saw a guy naked. Like, sex-naked, not horrible locker room-naked.” There’s a dry twist to Adam’s voice that always crops up when he talks about high school.

“Who was it?” Kris turns his head; the burn is fading to sensitive and good.

“Kevin. Remember?” Kris nods.

“He was one of those guys who looked like they were twenty when they were seventeen.” Adam laughs quietly. “He was a linebacker. Total gay high school cliché. If only he’d been quarterback.

“Anyway. I just wanted to look at him for like, a year. I mean, obviously I wanted other things too but. You remember what that’s like, right? When all you’ve seen is those fake looking people in porn or whatever, and now you’ve got – there’s an actual naked person there. And you’re allowed to look and can you can just barely deal with it.”

Kris nods, because yeah, he remembers that. He grunts a little in protest when Adam slips his fingers out but Adam shushes him and repositions Kris, bending one of his knees and opening him up. Adam’s fingers are cool with lube when they push back in and Kris shivers and arches back into it.

“Christ, you’re gorgeous.” The back of Kris’ neck prickles with heat.

“Yeah, bet you say that to all the boys.”

“Well, at this point flattery rarely does me much good, so take the compliment, Allen.”


Top.” Adam screws his fingers into Kris hard enough to make him gasp. “Now hush, you asked for the story.

“We didn’t fuck, I told you that. But we fooled around for a month or so. He was so closeted and scared, I had too much of my own baggage to deal with his.”

“Were you…in?” Kris can’t really picture Adam hiding, even in high school.

“As out as I could get, for better or worse. It was never really a decision. You know me, can’t keep my mouth shut. We both made each other nervous, I guess. Still, he was a sweet guy, and a fun distraction that semester.”

“Really now?”

“Mmm.” Adam’s voice curves wickedly, and he bites gently at Kris shoulder, kisses the corner of his jaw.

“I blew him on school grounds. Twice.”


“I never.” Adam nips his ear. “One time in the locker room, even.”

Kris laughs, brief and disbelieving. “Man, I don’t know why I’m even surprised.”

He feels Adam grin against his skin. “That was the first time, too. Talk about the ultimate fuck you. There I was, earning every name they called me with one of their own. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

Kris just smiles and shakes his head. Adam sits back, fingers sliding out, and Kris hears the condom wrapper rip. The shivers up his spine are all anticipation now.

It hurts less and differently than he thought it would. Mostly it’s overwhelmingly strange, heavy and full. Adam strokes Kris’ side and reminds him to breath. Kris does, and eventually he relaxes, rocking back slow and testing against Adam. Adam lets out a chuckling little groan, nuzzling behind Kris’ ear and murmurs “good boy” into his hair. Kris’ breath shudders out of him when Adam moves.

Adam is heavy and hot braced over him and his thighs slide against Kris’ own as Adam rolls his hips. Slow, shallow thrusts and it’s absolutely nothing like Adam’s fingers were. Heat prickles along Kris’ spine and he breathes against sheets, Adam’s mouth pressing hot and wet at random points across his neck and shoulders and he’s still moving so slow.

“Can you-” And Adam stops, which isn’t what Kris wanted at all.

“Do you need me to stop?” Adam starts to pull back, to pull out and Kris grabs back for him, fingers sliding on sweaty skin.

“No, no.” Kris licks his lips, face flushing. “Can you just. A little harder?”

“Oh.” Adam leans into him, a long aching slide back in that has Kris moaning. “You do keep surprising me.”

Kris would respond, but Adam’s hands curl around his hips, pulling Kris’ ass higher and rocking into him. The change in angle has Kris biting his own wrist to keep quiet. Adam pauses, all the way in, and pulls his arm away.

“Baby, you should have heard me the first time.” Adam murmurs in his ear, a hot heavy weight over and inside Kris. “C’mon then.”

And he pulls Kris back against him and snaps his hips forward until the pleasure is a bright, sharp thing and Kris barely recognizes the noises he’s making. Adam swears above him, his voice soft and filthy and Kris arches his back when Adam drags a hand down his belly and fists his cock, stroking with the rhythm of his hips.

Kris’ orgasm rushes up on him and he shakes under Adam, who bites encouragement against Kris’ back, half swallowed words and the twist of his hand over the head of Kris’ cock.

Adam presses his face to the back of Kris’ neck when he comes, cursing and moaning, sharp and almost hurt. He stays there, panting as they both come down and Kris reaches up and cards his fingers through Adam’s shaggy hair, touching his cheek. Adam chuckles, lazily and muffled against Kris’ skin, and scrapes him delicately with his teeth.

Adam pulls out slowly, sending further sparks down Kris’ overwrought nerves. Kris shudders and sighs when Adam smoothes a hand down his back and drops open mouthed kisses at the base of Kris’ spine and on each cheek. The condom makes a wet thump in the wastebin. Adam settles beside Kris, just barely touching along his side. Kris curls his fingers into the rumpled sheets, he wants to reach out and touch. All his skin feels hypersensitive and cool even with the sun spilling into the room and it’s hard not to lean into Adam’s presence. Kris does, a little, anyway, pressing his hip into Adam’s side and casually tangling their legs as he shifts, looking over and down at Adam, whose face is briefly inscrutable before he smiles wickedly, tongue between his teeth.

“So. Feel significantly gayer than this morning?”

Kris grins, wide and goofy and rolls his eyes. “No, I’m pretty sure my levels of personal gayness are right where they always were.” And Adam giggles with him.

“Good. I’ve got the gay niche covered on this show and I don’t share.” Adam knocks his shoulder against Kris’ hip and Kris drops his head to muffle his giggles at the thought of himself trying to pull off what Adam does on stage.

Adam’s hand curls around the back of Kris’ thigh, rubbing gently, and his voice is quiet.

“Not going to panic on me?”

Kris doesn’t even need to think about it. “It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?” And Adam smiles, biting his lip, and tips his head against Kris’ side.

Kris closes his eyes, soaking in the sun and the points of heat along his side where Adam is touching him. He’s sliding along the edge of sleep when Adam moves beside him, slow and deliberately, the way you get out of bed when you don’t want to wake someone. Kris watches the broad, pale expanse of Adam’s freckled back through his lashes as Adam sits up, runs his hands through his hair and breathes out slow and unsteadily before standing up with the same deliberate care and walking naked to the bathroom.

The door shuts silently behind him and Kris shuts his eyes.
Tags: fic, pairing: adam/kris, rating: nc-17
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